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Seized

17 Aug

Saturday.

A quick run to the grocery store…

Sans the kids.

Grabbing a Starbucks

Love that when they put it in the grocery store…

Right next to the produce.

 

 

Ordering…

Grande

Half caf

Skinny

Cinnamon dolce latte

Extra hot

2 ½ pump

 

“Whip?”

 

“Oh no”

 

“Nonfat?”

“Did I say Non-fat?”

 

…under his breath… Mitchell says…

‘yes you anal retentive wench’

“Yes ma’am…you checked every box on the cup”

“Oh…yea…okay”

‘Smartass’ (under my breath)

 

I really think that ½ pump thing just pisses them off…

Like enough to spit in your foam

Ummmm…

So yummy

 

But then…

An odd sensation…

Like a little gnat

On my neck.

Moving down…

quickly.

What?

 

My necklace…

Broke….

Damnit!

 

Sliding down my shirt now.

 

OMG

 

Where is my CZ?

My CZ …

(the chain is genuine gold…so it counts as semi-precious to me)

 

 

Shoving my hand down my shirt.

Move the girls…

Right boobie to the left

Left boobie to the right

Nada.

 

 

Sliding further down.

Rubbing my right hand over my belly…

Trying to catch it.

Hand up my shirt.

Down

Down

Down

It goes.

With nothing of note to stop it.

 

Now in my pants…

OMG.

Digging in my pants…

Left leg

Right let.

Rubbing my butt.

Pinch

Pull

Tug

Pat.

 

A small crowd has started to form.

 

I can feel the little bugger…

Sliding down my as…

ACKKK!

I heard it drop…

 

Where is it?

 

Don’t step on it.

 

Hop on left foot

Skip forward

Hop on the right

Bounce bounce

WHERE IS IT?

 

Basically lying on the floor now…

Looking under the Colorado White Peaches bin…

Next under the bin of black cherries…

Reaching…. OMG….

There it is.

GOTCHA!

 

Sitting on the floor…

I secure the chain.

Dust off my pants.

And take a well earned sip of my starbucks

 

And this man…

Behind me…

Snickers

Snorts

Laughs

Gurgles

Then Spits

 

Then tries to breathe.

He has witnessed the whole thing.

My full body seizure.

 “You have…

You have…

Just made my…

Made my day.

Maybe my week”

 

Glad to be of service buddy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Posted by on August 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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