Saturday.
A quick run to the grocery store…
Sans the kids.
Grabbing a Starbucks
Love that when they put it in the grocery store…
Right next to the produce.
Ordering…
Grande
Half caf
Skinny
Cinnamon dolce latte
Extra hot
2 ½ pump
“Whip?”
“Oh no”
“Nonfat?”
“Did I say Non-fat?”
…under his breath… Mitchell says…
‘yes you anal retentive wench’
“Yes ma’am…you checked every box on the cup”
“Oh…yea…okay”
‘Smartass’ (under my breath)
I really think that ½ pump thing just pisses them off…
Like enough to spit in your foam
Ummmm…
So yummy
But then…
An odd sensation…
Like a little gnat
On my neck.
Moving down…
quickly.
What?
My necklace…
Broke….
Damnit!
Sliding down my shirt now.
OMG
Where is my CZ?
My CZ …
(the chain is genuine gold…so it counts as semi-precious to me)
Shoving my hand down my shirt.
Move the girls…
Right boobie to the left
Left boobie to the right
Nada.
Sliding further down.
Rubbing my right hand over my belly…
Trying to catch it.
Hand up my shirt.
Down
Down
Down
It goes.
With nothing of note to stop it.
Now in my pants…
OMG.
Digging in my pants…
Left leg
Right let.
Rubbing my butt.
Pinch
Pull
Tug
Pat.
A small crowd has started to form.
I can feel the little bugger…
Sliding down my as…
ACKKK!
I heard it drop…
Where is it?
Don’t step on it.
Hop on left foot
Skip forward
Hop on the right
Bounce bounce
WHERE IS IT?
Basically lying on the floor now…
Looking under the Colorado White Peaches bin…
Next under the bin of black cherries…
Reaching…. OMG….
There it is.
GOTCHA!
Sitting on the floor…
I secure the chain.
Dust off my pants.
And take a well earned sip of my starbucks
And this man…
Behind me…
Snickers
Snorts
Laughs
Gurgles
Then Spits
Then tries to breathe.
He has witnessed the whole thing.
My full body seizure.
“You have…
You have…
Just made my…
Made my day.
Maybe my week”
Glad to be of service buddy.
