Whenever I feel I have it together…

Like?

I remember to pay the cable bill…

Get the kids to school on time.

Or try a new dinner that the girls…

ACTUALLY eat…

And do not go on and on about…

How it is not…

KRAFT CHEAP AND UNHEALTHY

Mac and Cheese

(I appear to be quite fond of my CAPS LOCK key today)

 

Well.

The Lord has a unique way of re-humbling me.

Over

and

Over

Again.

 

Like?

Working from home…

And on a call with 23 people.

It started at 7:00 a.m.

It is now 9:30.

I NEED TO PEE!

3 cups of TAZO Awake tea…

Will do that to you.

 

So!

My boss says we will take a few minutes break.

10 to be exact.

PLENTY OF TIME TO TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS

 

Just sitting down.

On The Potty!

Thank you God.

Muted the phone of course.

“Kelly?”

“Kelly?”

 

Shit!

My boss is calling me.

“Kelly?  You are there right?”

Oh yeah!

 Up I hop…

Shuffling over to the phone…

Panties around my ankles.

 

Knock the phone off the desk…

“Kelly?”

“Yes… I am here…I am sorry… I was speaking in to mute”

Which is a lie…

Totally.

 But I really don’t want to tell him I was sitting on the throne…

In great anticipation.

 

So I stand there for 4 ½ minutes.

Until he finishes and we ACTUALLY do take a break.

All the while doing my Kegels…

So as to not spring a leak…

Right here on the hardwoods.

And can say with confidence…

any delusions of my grandeur?

are now in full check.