Has this ever happened to you?

“Mommy I need some cupcakes for school.”

“Ok sure honey… when do you need them?”

“In da morning.”

“WHAT?!”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I didn’t needs dem then”

“oh”

Well.

We get home from school.

I heat the leftover mac & cheese.

And prepare another gourmet meal.

“Mommy?”

“Yes”

“Tomorrow is crazy hat day at school.”

Why?

Really why?

Is this necessary for her overall educational development?

We have crazy hat day,

Backwards day,

Pajama day

Dr. Seuss birthday celebration day,

Toy that starts with G day…

ACCKK!

“okay, can you wear that baseball cap?”

“MOM!!!”

“it has to be crazy… not like dat”

We?

do not have crazy hats.

We have?

Winter hats

Cowboy Hats

Baseball caps

and Tiaras

What in the heck am I to do?

Landon rounding the corner.

“I likes dis one.”

It my signature black cap that reads…

“Got Wine?”

Hell no!

What would I wear Monday through Friday?

“No honey… you can’t have that.”

“BUT MOM!!!!

What will I wear?

It has to be crazy”

Can you put me on your head  – I am thinking?  I am certainly crazy

“Just go to bed…

I’ll figure it out”

Right after world peace…

And the ridiculous way Donald Trump wears his hair.

I dig through my closet,

The craft box,

The toy chest.

I have a pile of junk…

Holiday bows…

And an old witch hat.

I commence to creating.

 

The finished product:

Complete with a fake fruit from the kids’ kitchen,

Wrinkly silver bows,

A cat toy,

And a rogue ping pong ball.

 

I am just about done with my masterpiece when?

“MOM!?”

 

DAMNIT.

 

The glue gun went awry…

Presenting a layer of glue….

Across my fingers.

OMG

OMG

OMG

 … That hurt.

Seriously …after two hours,

I still couldn’t feel my fingers.

That is likely because the top three layers of  skin…

Are now gone.

And?

There is a large glue glob…

On my Pottery Barn table.

Which?

When removed?

Has left a 2 ¼ inch mark where the black paint

Once was.

And tomorrow friends?

Is Mommy is pissed day.