Recently I took the girls on a trip

Me for business.

Them?

For annoyance.

It?

Was  a

L

O

N

G

Trip

We boarded the plane and are seated

Safe and secure in our private row

I am trying to satisfy Tennyson’s growing hunger

With a variety of tasty treats.

“Um Mom…”

It is the man in front of me.

Is he talking to me?”

“Um…there is a lot of kicking going on back there…

Can you help me out a little bit and see if she can stop doing that?”

UGH

I explain how that man was so nice to ask us like that

And we need to respect his seat…

and not kick it like a crazy person.

And also that he has two brothers

the Easter Bunny

and

Santa Claus…

And we do NOT want him to make that call…

now do we?

 

The captain comes on to tell us there is….

“a minor issue”

And that?

“we should be under way soon”

Which takes me to a place somewhere between irritation

And TERROR

Because if it is truly so minor?

Why are you telling us.

Or?

do you just need a couple of extra minutes

to finish your Caramel Machhiato?

I encourage the girls to look at the interesting sites outside the plane

while we wait.

Men in orange shirts.

Not interesting.

Grass

Also not intriguing.

Planes?

That is interesting.

“Why don’t you girls count the planes you see?”

Landon:

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen…

THIRTEEN.I see thirteen”

 

“Great job honey  Tenny how about you?”

Tenny:

“One, two, tree, foh, five, seven, eleventeen, eight, twelve! Twelve airpanes!”

 

This is the funniest damn thing the three rows around us,,,

have ever heard…

And they all hear it because?

We are still holding for our non-issue.

 

The man behind us is flirting with my girls.

A welcome diversion.

Very nice…

And?

A redneck.

Scruffy hair

Untucked shirt

And has not seen a razor in a month of Sundays.

 

Landon is now standing in the seat.

And He?

Smiles

A toothless smile.

I know it is coming but cannot put my hand over her mouth…

Before?

it escapes.

“Oh… did you already lose a tooth?”

OMG

Landon is all about the tooth fairy now,

Because she knows she will soon receive a present from the little sprite.

I try not to stare at the gaping hole in his mouth…

“Oh sir…I am SO SORRY”

 

The redneck is so nice….

“Don’t worry about it…

kids don’t mean anything…

they just call is like they see it.”

 

And then?

People…

He gave my daughter…

a 5 year old…

his IPHONE to play with.

Brand new.

This man?

Who cannot afford a razor,

Nor dental care apparently.

Has a brand new IPHONE.

 

Hmmm!

Landon?

Wants to marry him now.

GREAT!

we’ll have the reception at the KFC.

 

 

……………more on our travel adventures later.